The ‘Queer’ HERO’s Journey: Pt. 4 - The Gift

In the previous chapter of the queer hero’s journey, our main character learns how to compassionately nurture and embrace all the neglected parts of themselves… which is helping our hero to feel a sense of embodied wholeness. But the journey doesn’t end here. In fact… it’s just the beginning. Because now, our hero is starting to understand what this journey is really all about.

Whereas before, our hero looked into the future and saw the person they were becoming… now, they look to the present moment and embrace who they already are. And instead of frantically trying to change their circumstances… they simply accept what is. And instead of obsessing over becoming someone else… they patiently tend to the unfolding of who they really are.

And even though our hero still feels pain, and they still get insecure, and they still get excited about the future… our hero has become wise. And they have learned how to hold their pain, and to embrace their insecurity. And most importantly, our main character realizes that they key to all of this is found within the intimacy of the present moment.

And then from that place… of being at ease with what is… our hero is able to fulfill their destiny.

Which is what this chapter of the queer hero’s journey is all about. Stepping into our heroic capacities and offering ourselves to the world.

But first, just a reminder that the queer hero’s journey is a mythology of the queer path, which provides a framework of evolutionary unfolding that can help to orient the queer person towards certain key moments along the path of self discovery and creative freedom. This is a series of conversations so check the links in the description if you want to follow along.


Okay so let’s talk more about the gift that our hero has to offer this world.

So the first thing to recognize about being a hero is that this way of life doesn’t require anything out of the ordinary. In fact, its quite the opposite. Because they key to all of this… is like I said, to be who you are. Not to be who you think you’re supposed to be. Or to be who you’ve been told you are. But to be who you are really. Underneath all the games and the strategies. Naturally, organically, truthfully you. Nothing special. Just you. Standing on your own two feet.

Thinking for yourself. Acting of your own accord. Connected to your inner resourcefulness. Not reaching, or grasping or pretending. Not running or avoiding or defending… just being yourself, here and now. This what it means to be a hero. This is what it means to be someone who has healed the wound of separation. This is what it means to be embodied and integrated. Just being here… right in the middle of the discomfort. And then learning how to be here more and more of the time.

Because the truth of the matter is that your heroic capacity is here, not there. Its inside you… not outside you. And it’s in the present moment, not the future one. So really… the queer hero’s journey… is all about fully arriving in the present moment. And doing enough healing work… so that you can be more and more comfortable with what is here and now.

So another way to understand the purpose of healing, and progress, and compassion and mindfulness… is to simply bring more and more of yourself into this moment. Until one day… you are fully here. And you are at peace with all of yourself. Your mistakes, your grief, your trauma, your pain, your circumstances, your enemies… all of it is here. And all of it is okay. Or in other words… nothing has to change, in order for you to feel connected to that heroic place within yourself.


And then from that inner spaciousness, and that intimacy with the present moment… you offer yourself to this world.

Which is exactly what our strategy is all about.


Okay so to begin… let’s consider the origin of your queer-related pain. Or that original situation which you were born into. So this was a conditional environment which communicated to you that certain parts of yourself are worthy and lovable… and others are not. Which in turn caused you modify who you are… just so that you could receive love.

Now this is obviously terrible… and it has caused you tremendous suffering. So it’s easy to point the finger at whoever raised you, and say that it’s all their fault. And it’s easy to look towards society and culture and religion and say that they are the source of the problem. But in reality… it’s not quite that simple.

Because what we are dealing with here is a cycle. Or a worldview which is being passed on from one generation to the next. So the real opportunity here… isnt to pass the blame… but instead, its to break the chain. And to initiate a new world order, which is grounded in the principles of compassion, and unconditional love.

Which I get might sound like an idealistic fantasy… but in my opinion, nobody is better equipped to be an ambassador for peace and inclusion… than you, the queer hero. Because from the moment you were brought into this world… you have been faced with tremendous adversity. And it is precisely because of this origin… that you are both qualified and prepared to change this world.

Or in other words… you have the medicine. And not only that… but you are the medicine. Your wisdom. Your strength. Your love. Your compassion. This is how the world is going to heal herself. This is how your ancestors are going to be redeemed. This is how our society is going to transform. Through the eyes of the queer hero… and every other version of hero that has overcome a challenging origin.

So quite naturally… the next step of your journey, is to give this world the same gift that you have given yourself. Meaning… once you learn how to see yourself through the eyes of compassion… all you need to do, is look up… and see everyone else through the same perceptive.

This means living in a way where the quality of your presence invites people into a space of openhearted togetherness. This means valuing each and every interaction. Not just with people, but with all living beings. This means showing up for your relationships, and reminding people that it’s okay to be who they are. This means loving people with the same unconditional quality that you have learned to love yourself with. And more and more… bringing a sense of spaciousness and aliveness into the hearts of others.

And that right there…is the hero’s gift. That is how you dismantle the old world, and inspire the new one. Do your work, and then move through this world as an embodied, compassionate and balanced ambassador of peace and truth. This is the destiny of the queer hero.


And the good news is that you don’t need to wait until a day in the future to be that heroic version of yourself. You don’t need to wait until a transition, you don’t need to pass, you don’t need to be out. All you need is to be yourself… rooted in the here and now.


And when you do that… you will learn the same thing that myself and so many others have… and that is, you already are the hero you’ve been searching for.

And if you enjoyed this series, and are ready to deepen your understanding of gender and creative expression, then I want you to join me for a workshop called remapping gender. its going to help you cultivate a more organic and embodied relationship with the primal creative forces of this world… theres a link in the description.

Alright, thats all I’ve got. Im Lauren Sunshine. Thanks so much for joining me. I’ll see you in the next one.