Considering how challenging this path can be… it’s easy to understand why some of us fall into the trap of assuming that being trans or queer is somehow bad luck… and that this shouldn’t be.
But in my experience, this is not a helpful perspective. So in this conversation… i am going to offer you two reasons why being trans or queer is actually the best thing that has ever happened to you.
Reason Number One: Self Discovery is Knocking at Your Door
And if you are queer… then you have been presented with an opportunity to discover what it means to be truthfully, authentically you. And while yes… self discovery is a universal opportunity, which all people have access to. Still… nobody has it quite as good as you, the queer person.
And the reason for that is because of the implied clarity and directionality of this path. So for example… if you are passionate about gender, and thats where your mind naturally gravitates… then your path of self discovery is to explore gender. And if you are passionate about sexuality, then you explore sexuality. It’s is a pretty straightforward process right?
Well... not that the actual exploration is simple or easy by any means… but what I’m referring to is the initial connecting of the dots. Or the recognition that your’ self discovery journey involves walking in a certain direction. And the intuitive understanding that if you keep taking steps along the path that has been placed in front of you… then inevitably, you are going to learn more and more about yourself.
So like I said… for the queer person, getting onto the path of self discovery is a pretty simple process. Now of course, once you walk through the door… things become less simple. But at least you know what your path is. At least you can make the connection… okay, if I walk through this door, I’m going to discover parts of myself. And even though I might not know what to do once I cross that threshold… still, I can see very clearly that this is my door to open.
And that right there… that sense of clarity, is a huge blessing. Which might sound unimpressive at first… but I can assure you that there is a huge amount of people in this world who don’t know how to get onto the path of self discovery. Like they wouldn’t even know where to begin. Because they don’t have the kind of clarity that connects their passion to a particular direction. And if they do… acting on it, and turning it into a tangible thing can feel totally ambiguous. Because there isn’t very much implied clarity in their situation. So for this kind of a person… the idea of self discovery probably feels pretty inaccessible.
But thats not the case for you… the queer person. Because there is a path in front of you. And even though you don’t know where it’s leading. And you aren’t sure how to walk it. And the entire situation is totally intimidating. Still… you’ve been blessed with clarity. And you can intuitively sense that there is a direction which is calling your name.
Even if you haven’t come out yet. Still, you can feel that directionality pulling at you. And your mind has already begun opening to that new world. Which means that it’s only a matter of time before you start taking steps in the right direction. And that is why I am proposing that being queer is the best that that ever happened to you.
Alright, Reason Number Two: You’ve been Blessed with Challenge
And not just any challenge… but an abundance of extreme, persistent, and existential challenge. Im talking the kind of challenge that rips you out of the nest… and launches you miles outside your comfort zone, with or without your consent. And that my friend, is a good thing. Why? Because that is what it takes for you to learn what you’re made of. Being challenged. Day in and day out. That is what it takes to evolve and grow and learn right?
And just like how the rushing water polishes the stone… we also experience a refinement as we go through painful situations. This is simply how life works. And for whatever reason, it seems like life uses challenge… in order to get us to where we need to go.
So from that perspective… it seems like the person who is faced with extreme difficulties… is being given an opportunity. And that life has identified this person, as someone who is ready to evolve.
And I don’t know about you… but for me, challenge has been my main teacher. And reflecting back… it feels like life has brought me through, and is continuing to bring me through a very specific curriculum. Which happens to be full of challenge. And when I consider the core pain that I feel, related to being queer… I can say without a doubt, that it has brought tremendous value into my life. It’s been hard, ya of course. But it’s made me who I am.
And if it weren’t for life, forcing my hand and giving me the gift of incredible challenge… I would still be in the nest. Completely paralyzed by fear, downing in pain and cut off from this world.
So if you are feeling challenged by being queer… then congratulations. And welcome to your evolution.
Rejection, violence, isolation, humiliation, dysphoria, depression, anxiety… these are the necessary ingredients. This is what it’s going to take, for you to learn the things that you came here to learn. And as soon as you stop fighting against challenge… and pushing back against your pain… and instead, you allow for the water to rush over you, and smooth out your rough edges… you will come to learn the same thing that so many others have.
And that is the recognition that challenge is here for you. And that this is life supporting your evolution. And as soon as you can get on board with that… the learning begins.
And if you’re stubborn like me… then in the beginning… it’s going to take a whole lot of force in order to get that evolutionary process started.
So if you’ve got a lot of challenge in your life… then my suggestion is to reframe your situation, and see if you can feel into that wisdom perspective which looks at a difficult situation, or emotion, or thought, or person… and is able to perceive the underlying value of each challenge.
And instead of turning away… see if you can turn towards the very thing that is frightening you. And if you are able to make a habit of that… in combination with walking the path of self discovery, by honoring your queer nature… then that right there is a winning formula. And before you know it… my sense is that you are going to start seeing a tremendous value in your circumstances. Because you recognize that being queer is a gift from life.
And if you want to learn more about the core principles which are resting underneath the challenge, and at heart of the trans path… then you should watch this video, and I will share with you the main teachings which this path has to offer.