How can you, the person who feels called to support trans people… really, truly be there for us? In a way that creates meaningful, lasting change. Well thats what this blog is about.
And in it… I’m going to share with you the most potent, effective and efficient way to channel your supportive energies.
But before we talk about the strategy… first, let’s take a step back and talk a little bit about this gender situation.
So the first thing to understand about this whole exploring and questioning gender thing… is that trans people are not the only ones who are being faced with an opportunity to reexamine their relationship with gender.
Instead, this is a collective opportunity for healing, that is applicable to every single person on this planet…regardless of how they identify.
Even if they happen to be the most generic, mainstream, traditional, cis, binary person in the world… who has never had a single gender question in their whole life. This path is still going to be deeply, personally relevant.
And the reason for this is because at the heart of gender… is a creative and expressive environment which connects you… to this world. In other words… gender is your vehicle for navigating this life.
And the quality of your relationship with… and understanding of that inner creative environment… is going to determine the depth of your connection to the raw, primal foundational forces that have given birth to not only you, but this entire world.
And as a species… we are starting to wake up to that reality. And collectively, we are beginning to rediscover our creative expressive potential. And rewrite the script, in terms of how we, as a society, and as a culture engage with gender.
And that’s the conversation that the transperson represents. So if you feel like you are standing on the sidelines… compassionately looking at trans people from a distance... wondering how its going to turn out for us… then you might be missing the deeper invitation that this community represents.
Which is simple… to join us. And take steps in the direction of healing our collective relationship with gender… which of course starts with you, the individual.
And thats, what this strategy is all about.
You, the person… now matter how you identify, showing up in a way that shifts the entire gender ecosystem of our society. And creates systemic, generational changes, that will benefit countless lives for years to come.
Which of course, is a level of commitment that goes above and beyond the traditional, be compassionate, and supportive and acceptive of trans people.
So keep in mind that this strategy is for anyone who is looking to take their love and support of trans people to the next level.
Okay, let’s talk about the strategy… which is called, Enter the Conversation
And take a look for yourself. Meaning… go on a gender exploration of your own. And walk the path of someone who is learning how to look at gender through fresh eyes.
In other words… transition your role from cheerleader, and supporter… to fellow explorer.
And begin the process of reexamining your personal relationship with, and understanding of gender.
This means questioning your beliefs, challenging your assumptions, getting out of your comfort zone… and slowly, gently, clearing out the debris - of a systemically, culturally, and politically out of balance collective understanding of gender.
Which quite naturally… has seeped into not only yours… but everyone’s relationship with gender… in the form of unconscious bias and subtle misunderstandings.
So in general… this is going to be the most efficient use of your supportive energy. But not only that… it’s also going to be the most potent, change inducing, revolutionary thing that you could possibly do, in regards to gender.
And the reason that this strategy is at the top of the list, in terms of how to support trans people. Is because as soon as you look for yourself… and recognize the contradiction between the inherent freedom that we were all born with… compared to the incredible amount of unconscious, programed gender-related choices that all of us are making…
You will be able to break the chain of toxic gender standards. And create an opening within yourself, for a new way of being.
Or a way of relating to gender, that is in harmony with the natural world. And when that happens… you will immediately form an unspoken bond with all trans people.
And intuitively, we will be able to look at each other… and see through concepts of trans, and cis… and truly meet as one.
But thats not going to happen… until you see, and feel, and learn for yourself… in real time… though personal experience… what gender really is, and how it is impacting your life.
And just to be clear… I am absolutely not implying that you need to change anything about who you are or how you identify. Instead I’m simply presenting you with the opportunity of choosing gender for yourself… and forming a healthier and more balanced relationship with your personal creative expressive environment.
Which is a process that will support you in engaging with gender from a more empowered position… where you are able to form a direct and authentic connection to gender… in a way that liberates you, and allows you to more fully express yourself… as opposed to trapping you within a role.
Okay so what does this actually look like? What are some tangible things that you can do, to step more fully into this process?
Well first, in general… I recommend becoming aware of your gender choices. This simply means reminding yourself in every gendered situation… that this is a choice. The clothes you put on in the morning. This is a choice. The way carry yourself. This is a choice. The way you groom yourself. The name you go by. The pronouns you use. The makeup you do or don’t wear. The way you express yourself. The way you engage with others.
All of these are gender related choices, which are arising out of your perception of gender. And if you can simply become aware, of the choices that you are making… then all of a sudden, you are inviting your relationship with gender into the light… and out of the programmed, automatic, unconscious way of living.
And that way, you will be able to start recognizing in real time… that you are choosing your gender. And through those choices… you are actively communicating your gender identity to everyone around you. Which is going to be a huge breakthrough for anyone who is walking this path.
And after you start becoming more aware of your decision making processes… then next step, is of course to question that process. And ask yourself things like… why am I doing this? Like, what is it about this outfit that makes me feel like me? Why am I using these pronouns? What am I getting out of this? How are all of these choices influencing my self perception?
And throughout this process, of taking a closer look at your choices… it’s important to pay close attention to your feelings. See if you can notice the effects that gender has on you. So, are there situations where you feel totally empowered and self assured… and are there situations where you feel uncomfortable and insecure.
And if you happen to come across a belief or an assumption that you feel is limiting you… or making you feel trapped within a role… then there is your opportunity to challenge those beliefs. And really hold them up to the light.
So, you can ask yourself things like, where did this belief come from? How is this beliefs impacting my life? And who would I be without this belief?
And in general… my invitation to you… is to take steps towards a life where you are consciously choosing gender… in a way that empowers you and brings you alive. As opposed to allowing for gender to choose you. And that… is the path of a gender explorer. Which like I said, is a path that is relevant to all people… no matter how they identify.
And if you want to learn even more about truly supporting trans people… then you should watch this video. Because in it… I explain how to truly hold space for equality, justice, and peace… in a way that is simple, and easy to implement.